Monday, September 17, 2012

1929 in 2012- Just a different Era

You must be wondering what am talking about here. Try Googling '1929' followed by a space. Almost the first thing the World's best search engine would puke (we always say throw up, dun we?) is the Great Depression that shook America out of it's daylights. I'm not really a person into political history or particularly fond of Economics, so I'll just leave that part to the experts. So why the hell am i writing this blog, you can ask me, and i shall reply.

If that depression involved money, this depression involves humans. Money is generally green (at least in America it is), this involves people who are presumably flushed out and are like green with all the barfing and are pretty much rotten. 1929 is re-living itself in 2012. Homo Saps have considerably and enormously evolved, much to the wrath of God who is the Superseding force in any religion. Am not involving any religious riots here or anything that will make you get disgruntled with this blog. If there is God, he is somewhere out there watching humans battle out and fight like they own this planet. It's like that bemused look parents give when they see their kids fight over which G.I.Joe or Barbie (ugh!!) is theirs. God just does it on a larger scale.

Okay coming back to the topic. In a world where people are connected 24x7x366 (2012 is a leap year rt?), the world is still lonely. People still find themselves prioritising and feel that they are nobody's priority 'cuz there is always someone better than them. It is just plain weird. I feel that way, okay there is a problem with me. The whole world feels that way? Then "problem" should be re-defined. Millions of people google the key words "I am so lonely" or "I have no friends". Why do we even get depressed? Suicide on account of depression seems to be the most horrific stats these days. A ten-year old is suffering from depression! I cannot even fathom it. It is just something that everybody goes through and wonders what but never know how to name it. Some people are just upset about something or it so happens that their lives are totally miserable with fate donning every word and letter of their lives. Some seem to lead pretty decent normal lives but inside of them, they know they are pining for something and that is what they don't get and that leads to clinical depression.

In most cases, people don't even know how to explain what they are going through. Something and everything is stagnant in their lives. There is just no compulsion to talk to anyone anymore. First signs of depression. For instance, a Close friend leaves you hanging by the thread for no rhyme or reason and so you are upset. At this stage, you are just supremely upset but I can't classify it as a depression yet. That is until you start dwelling on it. You just start relating that one incident with everything around you. You and another friend go out for lunch together with others. You would automatically start feeling that people pay more attention to your friend more than you. You would start comparing the terms of relationship. Assuming you have a very close common friend, the feeling is even more pervasive. You keep looking at your phone and wait for it to buzz. It just doesn't. You accept that you are just too terribly lonely and none of your friends care. Then something surprises you. People remember your existence and do something special just for you. Just to see that smile on your face, and you also are really happy that you are remembered, acknowledged and loved. But that too, is short lived. Even during the surprise, you keep evaluating your relationship with the people, then start comparing the relationships other people have among themselves and come to assumptions and conclusions that you are the one who is the least loved, whereas the entire surprise revolved around you! We all keep evaluating our relationships. We also evaluate other's relationships. All of us are floating in a never ending bottomless pit of paranoia. "He likes her more than he likes me." "She is just prioritising him over me" These are everyday thoughts we come across.

We all go through this, just that the intensity varies. Some are in deep-shit depression where they lead lives in something like a Limbo. A state of nothingness. Sometimes people just want to be left by themselves and not plagued by "Why are you so silent? It just is not your thing". As I said, the intensity pretty much varies. Some people are too sensitive whereas the others feign indifference. Either way, we are all humans.

2012 has been predicted to be the end of the world. As we prepare for the Armegeddon and the Apocalypse (two brilliant Hollywood movies), we are trying to forget that we have actually forgotten to live. We simply whatsapp our friends first thing in the morning as soon as we wake up and indulge in some pointless conversations. These conversations settle into something like a monotone of sorts and ultimately, there is a point when people do not know what to say anymore. There is just something to be taken from this. I am not against technlogy because i just got myself an Android phone worth 29 Grand because i wanted to stay "connected". As much as i am, am mentally totally unplugged and going through a major power shut down. If this is the way the rest of the world also is, then The Great Depression of the "Evlolved" Clan is not far behind. Brace yourselves :D

Cheers,
The Phoenix





Saturday, September 15, 2012

What my job does to me. :D

There are just certain things you have to live with for a portion of your life. One that tops the list is your job. Like it or not, u just gotta stay. It's not just about the money and it's not about the loyalty or anything else. You just gotta stay cuz u have to. Like how a mole buries itself for reasons best known only to itself. I gotta stay in my job (it's more like an internship) and this does matter in my CV (Curriculum Vitae' man!!). But the entire problem is.. I don't even bother about my CV. So how does it matter what comes in it? :O

My passion : Photography : : Profession : Chartered Accountancy
My soul : Writing : : Job : Auditing
My job : Stipend : : Passion : Forget it. Nothing

Ina padichu ina prayojanam (translated as "What study what use?"). Oru mannum ille. People still spit pan on roads, say "can you be able to do this faar me?" and let out grizzly bear burps in public. Yeah. Gross. Anything can be poruthufied but THAT. So yeah. coming back to work. Am posting this blog after eons and as irrelevant as it sounds, the major contributing factor to not letting me write is my work. It's Saturday and am actually delighted that i get an "OFF" on a Saturday! Seriously? U think i must be kidding and a total gekas, but no. I am taking an "off" on Saturday and God Save, am THRILLED beyond words. These days i don't mind going to work on Saturdays cuz i at least get to work casuals. And no working on a Saturday means no need to call up Fastrack Call taxi in the middle of the night (cuz my friend and i keep forgetting that we gotta go back to the village a.k.a the client's place the next day and the next and the next) I celebrate it by playing 'Move like jagger' i dunno how many times. God bless Maroon 5 :D

I am all excited that am going to meet one of my closest friends after-i-dunno-how-long on a SATURDAY THAT I GOT AS A NON-WORKING DAY :D And I was supposed to submit a work paper today (Yeah. Did i tell you that am working from home? And hell yeah, am in casuals :D *Cheap thrills i say*). I beg and literally fold my palms and ask alms for two hours grace time because i gotta see my friend whom i haven't seen in ages (I already told you that). What perfect timing! So after some struggle, i do get permission from my senior with a rider which says "Your work paper has been due since yesterday and Boss is asking for it. Do send the work paper tonight without fail" I was thinking to myself (I generally don't think aloud, thankfully) "Duh! Like i gotta choice. Not like i am gonna get sleep today too." So i lock my system (I dun shut down my system these days, you see. Let the battery go to hell. I never know when I will be asked for work papers so it's always alive. I just wake it up :| ) and i get ready and land my butt at her place. She feeds me with her home-made cakes and ice-cream, her mom's amazing mix- veg parotta which beats the Saravana Bhavan one, btw and she pampers me like i was born just to eat and despite all the food in her place she is a scrawny stick figure (Yeah of course. I oly said she fed me. I dint say she ate right?) Anyway, i hog to my brain and heart's content and am like 'Uh oh. Should i go home and work?' The other part of my brain says "Gekas. Like you have a choice" and smirks at the useless despondent side (No. Teensy weensy portion ) of my brain. I just shrug it off and go home, change into home casuals and unlock my system and stare at the 800 line items of the Cost that am supposed to classify and perform an "Analytical" cum "Substantive" testing on. So I stare at it and start colouring the sub groups so that i can filter the groups so that i can pull out a pie diagram for my "Analytical" testing. And oh yeah, what will I write for my "work done". This shit i explained to you above? :O No way! Bad way to exemplify ignorance. I start doing the mundane task and am into the 347th line item when suddenly passion overrules and i decide to write this blog.! Hola! (Translated as Holy Christ!) This has taken  thirty minutes of my time and thirty minutes means another 100 line items. Dammit. And this is just my first file. I gotta give TWO files. Say hi to Ms. Owl. :|

Am into the 456th line item ( Did i already mention to you that i suck at multi-tasking? Am just at 456. Another 344 to go. Ha! I at least got the math right :D ). So i better get back to my pie (Food? I wish!! No u gekas. My pie diagram!!!) and vouching (Oh darn I didn't tell you about the substantive testing part, did I?)  . I also got to attach tick marks (a.k.a explanatory notes as to why I haven't done some important testing that I was supposed to do :P and no, going to my friend's place on a Saturday on which i took off, doesn't count). So, that's 42 minutes spent on this blog :D Thanks for all the patience and for reading my rambling. Just don't tell my manager okay? Now if you will excuse me, I got another 1144 line items to go (includes the 800 in the second file too. Elementary math. DUH!) :D :D

Cheers,
The Phoenix :D:D





Friday, August 24, 2012

En Chennai


Guys, as a disclaimer i would like to mention as a start-up that I do not wish to offend anybody. So, kindly dun get offended and read it as a fun ride :)

As Saravan Bhavan sambar and filter kaapis and Murugan Idli shop’s 4 chutneys, mallipoo idli and onion oothappam are the face of the Modern grown up Chennai, none of us can forget the boisterous Brilliant Tutorials kai endhi bhavan (which is closed. DAMN!) and the thattukadais which have been the legacy of Chennai food’s street identity. Though nothing can beat the araichuvitta saambar and the yumm rasam to die for that is made at every Tamilian’s abode, we cannot forget the fact that we are also living in a new era of dynamism and vibrancy of Chennai-ism.

The fact that I am a Chennai-ite is not merely confined to talking Tamil at home, it’s also about respecting the fact that we are open to people pouring in from different parts of the Country because this is one paradise of the different opportunities that this wonderful city can offer. And just like anything, we are not perfect and we do not expect ourselves to be. We are content with reading the Hindu and The Times of India and definitely Business Line, in the morning as chaotic as it can get because we will never know what we need to know about which shares are bull-ish and which are bear-ish. As we recover from the chaos and finally drive to work, oh there is a traffic near Tidel park for half an hour? When we go to Mumbai and stand in the same traffic jam for an hour, at the least, it is the Mumbai Spirit, but somehow in Chennai, Damn it. :D

Chennai continues to be one of the cities that is still virgin. Now don’t let your mind wander. Even though we have Harley Davidson Showrooms and Puma and the latest Audi doing the rounds on the roads, we still take it to the nearest Pullayar kovil for a Poojai with lemon under the tyres and sandhanam on the wheel, for the prosperity and well-being of the car, and definitely the people sitting inside. Am saying that the roots are still very much intact and that is why you get to see America maaplais coming to find namma Chennai girls. :D

With maamas and maamis thronging every Sabha in the city luxuring lip smacking dishes during Margazhi where among all that food, there is a little to the entire purpose of those concerts. The ‘Besh besh’ for the difficult, breathless swaram that is sung by the musician is drowned out by the ‘Aaha. Enna oru kesari.’ :D Yes, we do listen to Dhanush’s Kolaveri, there is no holding back as Chennai  listens to Lamb of God, Linkin Park, Maroon 5, Mick Jagger, Marley and Metallica, (to name a few) at it’s best and divine form.
This state of India has been controversially criticized by the Northies who do live in Chennai, for good, and yet walk out of the room when Tamil songs are played. As much as our fanaticism for our language and music, we have never retaliated and just let things simmer. We are the clan that misses Vadivelu and his words are the order of the day. From the ‘Sssss..Shebaaaa’ and the ‘Me talking. No cross talking’ to the ‘Blive me babyma’, every part of Chennai and Kollywood is special as much as we ourselves laugh, criticize but nevertheless, still love it.
To all you Chennai lovers, Cheers with a super strong Filter kaapi!! J J



Sunday, August 12, 2012

Whenever we want someone..


Whenever we want someone,
Someone to hold your hands, to make you warm
When u feel all alone
When you think all your life is a storm…..

Someone who makes you feel important
Someone who can tolerate your tantrums,
Put up with you when you are adamant
The person loves u truly despite your frown

Filling your life with color through the day
Occupying your dream always
When in despair you lay
That hug or kiss goes a long way…

The one to stand by your side
Wherever you go, whatever u do
To wipe your tears when you’ve cried
The one who always unconditionally loves you
The one who’ll say the magical words…
 “I love you”
Makes you feel like a lovebird
The whole atmosphere is special when you shyly say “I love you too”

Love is something that you cannot see,
Something you cannot expect to happen
You’ll never know when you’ll fall into the sea
Of emotions, ecstasy but you’ll see your heart deepen

Enjoy the happiness and pleasure
That this relationship gives
It’s the most precious treasure
To the one who, for only you lives….

Friday, August 10, 2012

Suffocated

Withering in my eyes
Falling deep within
Retrieve me
Repair me
For I am suffocated
The damage is done,
The blame is taken
A total blackout
An Emptiness
A Void
The Dark
My Shadow 
How much farther?
Suffocated
Paranoid
Lost
Despondent
Scarred
Scared
Broken but strong
Lonely but independent,
Dead but alive,
Withering in my eyes
Falling deep within
Retrieve me
Repair me
Suffocated
Lost amidst words
Stuck between worlds
Gaping into emptiness
A dream of never ending mass
Empty eyes
No tears left to cry
Silence
Dripping silence
Darkness again
Mirages of light
Suffocated
Is there an end?
Or is this it?
Numb
An iron chest
Heavy and laden
With pain
And suffering
Waiting to be shared..
Withering in my eyes
Falling deep within
Retrieve me
Repair me
For I am suffocated...




Thursday, August 09, 2012

She's the man :D :D :P

Okay am sure most of you will love this blog :D At least the guys would cuz it's gonna be all automobiles, football, Eminem, Hard rock, heavy metal and simply no girly stuff. So yeah u got a fairly awesome picture of me already. Yeah, am a typical tom boy. If Koenigsegg Agera and the Bugatti Veyron Vitesse are my die-hard favourite fashion statements and ManU is my favourite FC (translated as Football Club :D- that was meant for the girly girls :D No offence meant :D ) and Metallica, Linkin Park and Eminem are my Demi-Gods, BINGO! You are awesomely right about guessing what i do in all my free time :D

I somehow find absolutely nothing awkward sitting among a gang of guys, being more like a guy than a girl, talking automobiles and sports and capable of decent comebacks at digs, fairly decent General knowledge, strictly no nail polish and girlie coochie-coos permitted with me :D Once, my guy friends and i were having a discussion. Something about a particular car model. As it got a little more interesting, (for i love challenges, especially when it comes to discussing automobiles), my friend warned the other with whom i was battling- "dude don't u go around challenging her about cars Please!!!" LOL. It was hilarious to listen to that. If you thought, that was it, i won't disappoint you. My guy friends don't even seem to regard me a girl! We- around 10 of us, 3 girls (including ME!!) all went out for lunch and then the other 2 girls had to leave. So yeah i told my friend 'so looks like i'm gonna be the only girl today too' for which he goes like 'girl? there are no girls here now!' Now u see what i'm talking about? :D

The first thing i do when i see this friend of mine is summarize what i watched on TopGear last night and only then we feel obligated to start the day off. We discuss at length about Inline-5 engines Vs. V6 engines, talk about the new Innova V6 costing 15 lakhs as against it's V4 predecessor (which i drive). We talk about the interiors of the Evoque (Range Rover) that Victoria Beckham has designed, hand-stitched leather interiors and how relieved we were that she hasn't done a real sissy job out of it. We were at length talking about the Aston Rapide and the Cayenne Turbo and of course the Grand Sport Vitesse (Yeah THE Bugatti) being a 1200-odd bhp 16.4 L engine flooring at a maximum speed of 320kmph (that's just the highest TESTED speed!). So yeah, once we are done with the warm up for the day, we settle into easy conversation about music and then he goes "i swear i can't believe i'm talking to a girl about Eminem and Metallica!!" I ROFL (not giggling, mind you!).

Me friend and I were discussing cars (like DUH!!) and suddenly he tells me, 'girl, i swear i haven't seen another girl THIS crazy about automobiles and by the way i also don't understand any blog of yours' and he was the one who spotted me listening to Eminem rapping every single heartbeat  and i was too involved in the song that i do what i usually do- try to rap along with him (maybe i shall upload a video soon enough :D) So he comes and asks me 'are u even girl? seriously man, you are damn cool'. Another friend of mine, comes up to me and says, (after we had a serious discussion about what Van Persie is gonna do about his career and that ManU also doesn't seem to be signing him; am sure even he wouldn't be as concerned!! :D) "U like. Oops no. Sorry. U LOVE automobiles, u love football, you listen to heavy metal and rock. Are you also into girls?" I burst out laughing and after i convince him that i am always and shall be very much straight, i turn my attention back to the latest Top Gear review :D He gives up :D One of the guys asks me 'What's your favourite colour?' I go 'green'. He was like 'Thank God. I thought you would say pink'. I gave him a disgusted look and asked him, 'You really thought I WOULD SAY PINK? for which he says almost immediately 'NO WAY' and we are both relieved and satisfied. It's just a cool thing to be a tom boy. It's just cool being me. Being this way for me is the most natural thing ever. I may be pathetic at phones but i hope i do make it up with my craze and insanity about cars. Thanks to all my guy friends for making me a part of u guys, for sharing all those spectacular moments, making me feel myself, where i don't have to maintain a pretense, where i can just be myself and not judged and in fact be appreciated for the same. :D And an even bigger thanks to my girl buddies (of course i have girl buddies!! DUH!! I AM A STRAIGHT GIRL. How much more should i emphasise that?! :D ) for putting up with all my boyish streaks and still not getting annoyed and paranoid about me and NEVER ONCE judging me or shunning me.

Love you all loads and loads more :D
Thank you and cheers!!

The Phoenix
p.s. This article is just about me and hence all these are opinionated towards me. Kindly don't take anything personal and offensive. Thank you again :) :)


Saturday, August 04, 2012

My Summer Holidays 2012

Come the month of April,
When we were little,
It was nothing but summer holidays
But now, in my articleship it is nothing but due dates and all working days!

Prepare work papers and exemplify your ignorance
And ensure that you owe your previous year work papers allegiance: D
Do cash counts and stock counts
And if they don’t match, perform re-counts :D

Get used to the RAAP and MAPs to be filled up
And live out of countless coffee cups :D
Tell the client that the figures don’t tally
When he says it won’t cuz he gave you the third backup of ERP Tally

After which he has passed countless entries
And he is going to give the sixth backup with more ambiguities :D
Ask your senior a doubt
Only to be told that they are busy and give you a big clout

Helpless first years, :D
I- know-but-I- dunno- second years, :D
I-know- but- I dunno-how to explain it final years :D
Raise queries and research before you do
Cuz our brilliant revelations have already been raised previous year, dodo :D

Order the best of lunches but eat them two hours late
And forget mom’s yumm food till the signing date :D
Only when am used to seeing the financials in a particular format
I get to see the revised version and adapt
Revised Schedule VI
Oh! My life is so going for a six

Notes and cross-referencing
Check for errors and if you don’t find them, do an entire casting and totaling
If you still can’t get enough of it, get your hands on the Schedules
And find errors miniscule
And satisfy yourself about the number crunching and disclosures
And keep doing encores

Start wasting paper while taking clumsy Seventh Final set of Financials print-outs
And get reminder calls from your Trainer that you have skipped all days of your work-out
Brace yourself for the Grand Finale
The most anticipated event called ‘signing the financials’ after which we think it’s time for regale

Of course we are wrong
Archivals are the order of the day and don’t ever prolong
Sit late and do the needful
You are helpless and your hand AS-2 and manual files full
You slog and work it out
A break without

You emerge with injuries, none colossal
And you send a leave request mail to your manager for his ‘perusal’
Which he dismisses because you are off to your next
And the whole process starts all over again in full zest :D :D