How many of you have
felt this? You are generally happy. Suddenly there is a lull and a period of
inactivity where your heart takes over your brain, rakes the memories and
causing a feeling of something indescribable like the sound of knife scraping
the blackboard. That feeling that makes you cringe and feel repulsion for a
second so much that it feels like you are gasping for air. That same nausea.
Yeah it's okay. No problem. Am taking a few deep breaths myself after writing
that.
Even in mathematics, 'Constant'
is never constant. It is always something that depends on others. Just like all
of us. We differentiate and we integrate and ultimately all we are left is with
a huge set of practical problems and lots of probabilities. We see triangles of
love and circles of friends but why don't we ever get to see treatment that is
fair and 'square'? BTW, Maths was never my thing. 'No wonder' you may think.
Ha!
Ultimately, what are we
here for?
I am best friends with
you one day and the next, you show all your frustration on me (for reasons i
cannot fathom) and the day after that, we don't even know each other anymore.
Like a swarm of bees, we coop together. Share the same comb and continue doing
our job until the rain starts to pour and it's high time we got outta the comb
and move our ways till we find another swarm. Okay am getting all philosophical
and sometimes i wonder if even i understand what I am writing. However these
days I tell you, the more complex and labyrinthine people write, we think
they are talking real Kafkaesque stuff, where it just means that they don't
know how to put the thought across simply. Okay that was flambuginous (Ha!
Google it) :D
So why exactly am i
writing this blog? I actually wanted to write something of meaning and value
addition to all of you guys reading it. Wanted to tell you what exactly I am
going through. Looks like you are only getting a piece of the outcome of my
present state of Soliloquy. And that's me on a constant state of
hyper-activity. As i was writing, I was reading it out out to one of my friends
and she goes like 'Ummm. Are you really okay? Do you wanna take the rest of the
day off?" And to think that I just got back from a short vacation.
Sometimes, loneliness really gets to you. The beauty of the English language
rests here. Lone-lines(s).The lines on which you are bereft and that gaping
emptiness. There is no Hiccius Doccius (something like Avra-cadavra) to change
yourself or the world. Wish things were as fun as Harry Potter with the
muttering of a few charms to stupefy your own life at some points. However,
even in Harry Potter, people serve detentions and abandonment into the
“Forbidden Forest”. Or whatever.
This blog is absolutely
pointless and shows what a gongoozler I am. Well, that’s what I do. Something
to keep me from falling asleep most of the times. I suddenly realize am not
making sense at all. An absolute ranting for I do not know why or what for.
Actually I was thinking of something while watching Iron Man. Yeah the same
Robert Downey Jr. movie. If Iron = Fe (as per our 6th Grade
Chemistry lessons) and Man = Male, then does Iron Man equal Fe Male? :P Coats
and Suits and decked up armor of ties and wins and buckles and hats, where am I
going forward and how does it make senseth? The answer is, frankly I do not
know. I have just been crazy enough to write it and am just obsessed with
Gadzookery. Looks like you might need Google more than anything else before you
take a gasp of air, well, I felt the same thing too while writing it :D
Thanks a lot for the
patience, the love and the support towards this Bablatrice :D :D
Love and Cheers,
The Phoenix
Bibliography:
www.google.com
www.buzzle.com
