Did u just de-activate your facebook
account because u are totally sick of seeing other people’s perfect faces who
have their own friends and celebrate their perfect life when you feel yours is
totally rotting?
Those are the times when you feel like
a total screw up because 1. There is no one beside you when you need
them around, and number 2. Your own friends treat you like a child on whom it’s
their moral responsibility to advice and kill you with it when all you wanna do
is find a shoulder and cry. Just cry. What we need is to be told a lie that
‘Shush. Everything will be fine’. Sometimes all of us need that little lie when
we are down but we just don’t get to hear it. Just listen and let them rant.
All of us are different, no doubt and often we end up asking ourselves,
"Why should I always be the weak meek one? Why can’t I hide stuff like you
people do and pretend nothing affects you guys and everything is so perfect in
your lives." The problem lies here- "Everybody else always has
somebody else, whereas I got only you." That’s why you don’t know
the pain of loneliness or the pang of emptiness.
The brain is a wonderful creation. It
knows when and for what to warn you. When somebody hurt you in the past and the
incident shows signs of repetition with another person, it recoils and warns
you. It’s the logical adult while your heart rushes
forward like the immature teenager despite various attempts by the adult to
warn and uproot memories from the hurt and the buried past. In those cases,
listening to your wise brain (which most of us don't) will be the most sensible
way out. Sometimes
all you wanna do is cry and just cry and let the tears fall freely when I read
beautiful quotes that mirror my feelings, emotions, turmoil and the fact that
it so perfectly coincides with my life. I go through my phone to find some
solace in the beautiful cherished moments we have all shared with everyone.
After I do, I realise how things have changed and I wish I hadn’t spent the time
re-reading the conversations, unable to cope with the change. Exactly! That’s
the problem. Change! All of us need to get used to change. But the question is
how? We never know that things are going to turn wary when they are actually
going on perfectly. Things may not entirely always be your fault, but
leaving you disraught and messed up.
So some
pointers to take forward?
1)
Never get too attached to anyone. For eg. Your best friend.
He/ She may be the sweetest thing ever. Taking you out when u have had a hard
day. Talking to you for hours together over phone. Getting screwed for that
from their parents. Giving you their all. Remember though, they have a life too
and they can't fulfill what you need when you need them the most. So never
expect too much. It probably only will lead to disappointment. Detachment is
the key! Initially pathetic to even take a step forward, but if you have
mastered it, then the world is yours.
2)
Learn to love yourself. I know that in most cases, that is the hardest
part. We have become people, so used to admiring and living the lives of others
that we fail to accept and realise the beauty and the essence in our own. We
have been lost and left amidst a void you don’t know where to begin. So, belief
is of the essence. It is supremely important to believe, love, trust and care
for yourself.
3) Let go. I had mentioned not to get attached to anyone,
but letting go is a harder and a more pain-staking process which calls for
enormous will power, a strong focussed and obedient mind. Most of us let the
minds do the thinking for us, which lead to total disasters because we never
think. We simply react! When we fall, it is us to get up. You could be
supported, but it is YOU, your will, your body and your organs that will
respond to the fall or the pull back up on to your legs. That indeed is the
toughest part, but having succeeded in doing that, you are invincible.
4)
Do some serious damage control. Never leave any relationship
sour, it would just turn bitterer than you ever thought of. The pain and the
cringe you experience when you think of something or someone is a strong
indicator that you still haven’t done anything to treat the situation right.
Either you are wallowing in self-pity or obsessed with your ego or you simply
haven’t moved a rat’s ass bit of yourself to mend the broken bridge and the
rift only widens with the force of the current. Shedding a bit of ego will
never hurt you, you could in fact win an entire relationship back! Fought with
your best friend and whether the fault was either on your side or not, go and
get him/ her back. When you take up initiative and own up to your doings or
simply being forgiving and burying the hatchet will take you miles in the
relationship. It is always a mystery to me and I ponder over how people cannot
even talk to each other after several decades, by which the entire point of the
argument would have been lost. So, buck up your courage and patch up. Getting
back is the mantra!!
These things may look so absurd and so
taut. Nevertheless, give it a second thought and you will see the sense in it.
Several things are so simple and it is we who complicate it. If you think you
are a screw up, it is because you have set a benchmark for yourself and aren't
reconciling to the fact that you are you and you cannot compare and contrast
yourself to the rest of the world. The irony is, we all think we are screw ups
when we compare ourselves with everybody else. Why? The reason being, nobody is
perfect! Remember that you are awesome, choosing to ignore what people say.
Accept criticism and act on healthy criticism, at the same time let inaction
not bog you down. Everything seems strange at first, familiarity with something
offers that security and comfort. Grab that familiar aura and grab yourself back. Love yourself, I know I do :)
-The Phoenix
