This is a story i have been writing for a long time. Comments and suggestions are most welcome :) :) Read on :) :)
It was a
lazy Sunday afternoon. Jade, the perfectionist that she is was cleaning the
house, scrubbing every nook and corner until it was spotless. I was shuttling
between channels waiting for my game to start. Well, this is our usual Sunday. Jade
prefers to cook a nice happy meal on Sunday for the two of us. We had finished
our grocery shopping right yesterday and today was Jade’s Italian day. So, our
shopping bag had everything from Bocconcini cheese to olives to Parmigiaono
Regiano to artichoke and what not!! Jade has always been popular for belting
out new recipes (which do come out well) and I’ve always been an ardent lover
of the scrumptious food my wife makes. I saw Jade pushing back a strand of her
burgundy hair which was sticking to her forehead, sweaty with all the work she
was doing. I stared at her, lost in thought. She was the most beautiful girl I
had ever seen. And I went back the timeline to when I first saw her.
I still
remember. She was dressed in a simple yet beautiful cream skirt and a green
blouse. Though she was a little round, the clothes fit her so well and
beautifully. Her hair was burgundy and let down loose. Her eyes were a soft
green; so beautiful that they would tell a story on their own. She had no hint
of make-up. Not that she needed it. She was simply stunning. She was shopping
by the streets with a friend in the cool September evening at San Jose; where
I’m put up. I was out with my pals for a game of cards and some beer. She
walked past us and I had something in me, some urge to go talk to her. I
brushed it aside thinking this feeling would pass. But, I was wrong. There was
something about her which kept tugging at the bottom of my heart. It kept
telling me to go court her. My best friend, John looked at me and urged me on.
I got up and walked towards her. I paced along her and finally caught up with
her. She didn’t notice me. I kept asking myself if I wanted to do this. I was
sure I wanted to because I had never felt this way earlier. I stood in front of
her, with sweaty palms, which are the best indicator of my nervousness. She
looked at me with a queer expression with those incredible green eyes that held
me chained to her. I knew I had fallen in love. I was surprised at myself. Had
I fallen in love with a complete stranger in two minutes? I kept asking myself
that question over and over again. I never found an answer. But when I shook
out of my trance, she was gone. I ran after her, panting, my hair ruffled. She
looked up from what she was looking at. She looked at me and I still remember
the very first words she spoke to me. “I noticed that you’ve been following me.
Have we met earlier?” I heard her voice; soft, and chiming in unison and her
accent oozed of an English accent. I did not say anything. I had no idea what
expression I had on my face. She looked at me quizzically as if to say, “Hello?
Say something. What is it?” She had chained me with her eyes yet again. I held
my breath as I smelled her perfume. It was intoxicating. I closed my eyes. When
I opened them, she wasn’t there again. I looked around frantically. She was on
the other side of the road. She was looking at a string of pearls under the
street lights. She looked like an angel. Yet, there she was admiring the
pearls. I dashed across the road. I was determined to tell her. But, I stopped
myself. Tell her what? That I love her? That she looks too good? I was sure I
didn’t want to “ask her out”. I was head over heels in love and I felt my heart
near my mouth bobbing like a jackhammer. There was a dog barking in the
distance, a woman selling her wares next to me, a man bargaining with another
vendor. But nothing ever registered in my head. I didn’t even know her name but
I loved her. That was when I heard, “Jade, Jade, watch out!!” Jade.. Jade.. That was her name. Jade. I had a sort of symphony
playing in my ears. It was then I realised that her friend cautioned her of
something. But Jade hadn’t heard. She was still busy with the pearls and she
walked off the platform onto the road to get a clearer view beneath the light.
There was a truck charging at her in that lane. The driver hadn’t noticed her
since there usually is no traffic on Mall Street. But there it was- a truck.
And it was coming fast at that. She was unmindful. The truck was closing in
now. I didn’t know what to do. In a fleeting moment, I dashed across to her,
grabbed her by the waist and pushed her onto the platform and I dived right
after her just in time when the truck screeched to a halt. She was petrified. I
couldn’t see my angel’s face that way. She hugged me tight and buried her face
in my t-shirt. I kept hugging her as she was trembling, her hands shaking
uncontrollably. I wished I could hold her like that for the rest of our lives.
And then, she got up. Her eyes wet, her hands still trembling from the fear of
what might have happened. I let go of her. She seemed embarrassed. She looked
at me. She looked at me with those eyes which arrest me but she said nothing.
But she needn’t have told me anything. I could see it all in her eyes. They were
full of gratitude and they kept thanking me amidst those tears. She stood up,
and that’s when her friend came running to her. I knew it was time for her to
leave. She would leave in a few moments. A voice inside of me kept telling me,
“Tell her Jacob. Tell her.” But I simply couldn’t. She held me there in her
eyes, speechless. When her friend arrived, she told her, “Rebecca! Oh Rebecca!”
and hugged her friend. Her friend then thanked me profusely and soon, they
walked their way. Just as I was trying to comprehend the series of things that
took place in the last fifteen minutes, I was looking their way. That’s when
she turned back and smiled at me. My face lit up like a 5 year old given a
whole cake. I jumped, kicked the air, pranced around and saw her smile at me
again. I tried to find out everything about Jade. She lived two streets away
from my house with her brother. They hail from London, where they had a family
business. But fate had it that Jade and her brother Sam were orphaned a year
ago when their parents met with an accident and passed away. Jade and her
brother found it too depressing to stay in their house anymore in London, and
moved here when she was just 18, just three years older to Sam. It was really
surprising that she had been here for a year, but I had never seen her earlier.
I tried to find out more. I was smitten by her and I started loving her more
than I could ever imagine. She was there wherever I could see; in my room, in
my house, while I was playing, when I was with friends; and she was also there
in a place I couldn’t see- my dreams. She had occupied it and ruled over it,
and she still continues to do so.
I would
usually take John along with me, on my bike and go to the street where she
lives. How I wished I could be the milkman or the paper guy, just to get a
glimpse of her again. But she was never to be seen again. I yearned for her. I
was pining. I wouldn’t eat properly; I could never sleep and even though I was
a good student, I skipped my University lessons the whole week. My parents
began to get worried. I would rarely speak during dinner; always lost in
thought about what happened to my Jade. I went on like this for another whole
week. Finally, after two weeks of this turmoil, I saw her watering her garden
as I passed by her house. I stopped right in front of her driveway and smiled
at her like a three year old seeing Santa. She didn’t look my way. She was
busy, watering her plants. I was relieved to see her. I did not have a good
feeling all the time when I couldn’t see her. I missed her too much. And then,
I could smell bacon wafting through my nostrils as she dropped the hose and ran
towards the kitchen. As I watched her jump gracefully while sprinting inside, I
couldn’t help notice again how beautiful she was.
A few days later,
I saw her at my University. John and I were shuttling from our major class in
aeronautics to Spanish minor class. Before I could go talk to her, she was
gone. I decided that when it was time for my University, that I would apply
nowhere other than Stanford and if my grades were any good, I should be able to
get my seat there, for I topped my school. The only reason I applied at
Stanford was because it was just twenty miles from my place. I did get a place
at Stanford and I was really glad that my parents were really proud about that.
I used to be a very studious kid who was not really all that into girls. That’s
why my folks were surprised about the interest I was showing towards Jade. John
was second in class and we were two lads, the best of pals, always hanging out
or doing other stuff 19 year olds were generally interested in. Also, John and
I were the star players in our under- 19 basketball team for the California
Golden Bears.
We were
playing basketball the other day in our area play-off. I had not seen Jade in a
week. I was beginning to get worried. I couldn’t concentrate on my game either.
I kept passing the ball, rather absentmindedly. John almost always ended up
asking, “Jake, when was the last time you dunked the ball in slamming it hard?”
I frankly couldn’t recall. I pined for her. It was not until three days later,
our lives were going to take a twist. John, Mark, Jack and I were playing our
regular game that afternoon. It was a Sunday. I tried my level best to focus on
the game. I was going mad. I needed her like a heroin-addict needs his dope. I
often kept asking myself why I loved her this crazy. Was it just the way she
looked? Was it her past that made me feel so horribly sorry for her? Was it
those beautiful jade stones for her eyes or was it for the person she was? I
never found the answer.
A week
later, I saw her at Henrys’, the grocer. She wore a fairly long purple skirt
and white blouse. I hadn’t noticed her at first. I was talking to Henry. He
enquired about my parents and I asked about Lily, his wife. Our families have
known each other ever since they moved in here when David, Henry’s son was
three years old. They had moved in from Chicago when their house had been
robbed and they lost their shop when they were tricked by their long-trusted
partner, Jeff. They had a very hard time in the initial years here. Then they
slowly and steadily grew and I can say for sure that they’ve been some of the
nicest of people I’ve ever met. “Jake, are you alright?” Henry’s voice startled
me out of my reverie. I blinked at him and nodded absentmindedly. I turned to
look for her but she was gone. Man, was I jinxed with not seeing her for more
than 5 minutes whenever I see her? “Her name’s Jade. She lives two streets down
with her brother”, Henry piped in, smiling. Too embarrassed that I was staring
at her with my mouth wide-open like I’ve never seen another girl all my life
and with Henry noticing it and laughing, I decided to run away immediately. “Henry,
are you gonna bill these or no?” “No.”, he said with a grin spreading across
his face. I knew where he was getting. But I thought the better than to play
along. I smiled and said, “C’mon Henry. You’ve loads of customers waiting”. He
grinned again as if to say “you’d better tell me what’s going on”. I should
have seen this coming. “Nothing Henry. I got to go. Will tell you as soon as I
know it myself, okay?” I laid a ten dollar note on the table and grabbed the
paper bags and dashed out of the door as fast as I could. And I could feel
Henry’s eyes on my back musing to himself. I was waiting to cross the road when
I saw her again. She was just walking out of Henrys’ when I had actually
thought she had left already. She had been standing right behind me at the
counter. I turned around to look at Henry. I saw him laugh at me for a while
and then gave me a firm nod and a smile. That was Henry’s way of saying
everything was fine. I smiled back and waved. When I was roaring my Yamaha, my
ride to life, after having balanced the grocery bags in such a way that it
doesn’t fall, she appeared in front of me. “Hi Jacob. I’m sorry to have to ask,
but could you drop me home? My brother is sick and he would be hungry. It’s
gonna take me ages to walk back and I don’t see a taxi around.” I suppose I
looked at her, open-mouthed when she laughed. Regaining my hold on the bike, I
stammered, “Of.. of course”. That’s all I managed to say. She laughed again,
the beautiful chiming laugh. She had evoked all that was buried within me these
few weeks. She got on the bike and laid her hand on my shoulder, her very touch
electrifying. Promising myself to remain calm and normal, I kicked the bike to
life. I was a very good rider but she had made me so hard to concentrate. Her
hand was still intact and she grasped it tight at that. Looking her in the
rear-view mirror, I lost myself there again. How could someone be so beautiful
and sweet at the same time? How did I fall in love with her? We were near her
house. I thought of stopping outside her place and telling her what I felt. I
fought off those urges and decided to concentrate on steering my bike in the
right lane. Her hand groped my shoulder tight and I could feel the warmth of
her hand penetrating through my sweat-shirt. Her house was in view. She would
get off in exactly half a minute. I had to tell her. 20 seconds. 10 seconds. 5
seconds. I parked out in her driveway. She got off but her touch still lingered
on my shoulder, unable to make me focus. We got off the bike. “Thank you Jacob.
That was really kind of you.” And she smiled, ever so sweetly. I just wanted to
envelop her in my arms. I was shaking. I put my hands in my pockets so that she
couldn’t see how nervous I was. I stood beside her, trying to act as casual as
possible. I was standing so close to her that I could inhale her lavender shampoo.
It was tantalizing. I moved two steps behind, pretending to get a better view
of the house. All I was looking at was her. Her burgundy hair. Her simple skirt
and blouse. Her angelic features. I wanted to see her every single day and love
her more each day. She was kind and polite to everyone. That was what moved me
more than her appearance. She would help a little kid cross the road safe,
would help an old grandma with her shopping bag and she would even take a stray
pup to the blue-cross. She was one in a million and I wish she were mine. I
would be the luckiest man in the universe. “Jacob, would you like to come in?”
Her voice echoed through my head a zillion times till I got back to my senses.
I blinked at her. She laughed and thumbed,pointing toward the door. I laughed
too, more embarrassed than ever, and followed her into their living room. She
led me to the couch just across the fire place. It was warm, cozy and
well-done. I experienced a Deja’ Vu sitting on her couch as I was lost in my own
world. I didn’t see any sign of Sam. I presumed he was sleeping upstairs or
probably reading something in his room or maybe out to play. But I heard wheels
rolling across the wooden flooring. I thought he must be cycling inside the
house or something. It took me a few seconds to realise that he was old enough
to have quit cycling indoors years ago. And then I saw him. A wide grin spread
across his face, he moved towards me, his hands gripped tight at the sides of
the wheelchair on which he was moving. His face was angelic, just like hers,
his hands and legs a little bent and he was hunched a little. Yet there he was,
happy to have a visitor come home, though we were complete strangers. I got up
and shook his hand and he offered me a hug which I returned with pleasure. My
eyes were moist. I had never seen anyone like this earlier at such a young age.
Not even Mary, who lived two blocks away from my house. She was paralysed on
the right side of her body and she moved in a wheelchair using only the left
side of her body. She was in her fifties and even though I had always pitied
her and did my best to help her, I had never felt myself cry or feel depressed when
I visited her.Jade said, “And this is Sam, my kid brother” and flashed a smile
at both of us. I said, “Hello, Sam. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He grinned at
me and looked at Jade. That was when Jade was miming my name and spoke to him
using her fingers and palms. I was just observing the conversation transpiring
between them. It was beautiful and painful at the same time. The tears tugged
heavily at my eyelids.Jade told me that he was mute right from birth. He looked
at me as if to say “Hi Jake. I’m so happy to have you here. I got so much to
show you”. I wished he could say that. I asked Jade for some water, for my
throat went dry. It was too much for me to take in a single day. When she went
to the kitchen, I got up and moved towards Sam, tears still tugging at my
eyelids. He kept observing me and looked at me like I was going to give him a
full Cheese pizza. I bent down and knelt just a few inches before his
wheelchair. He took his hand and wiped the tears off my face. I hugged him
gently. He returned my hug with loads of happiness I could feel through his hug.
Here was a guy I couldn’t play basketball with, I couldn’t walk with, I
couldn’t sing with, I couldn’t even talk to! But, there was something about his
smile and about him that made me so affectionate about him.I was so moved and I
wascertain about one thing since I had met Jade. I had just found my heart. I
had learnt how to be sensitive to others, how to love another completely, and how
to understand each other. But Sam taught me something even more achingly
moving. He taught me to smile and be happy despite anything. He was the real
man, I seconded my thoughts.Jade was back with a glass of water in one hand and
a fresh bag of hot muffins in the other. She left it on the tea-table in front
of me and went inside the kitchen again. This time she returned with a pitcher
of juice. She poured me a glass and poured two more for Sam and herself. The
respect I had for Jade grew multi-fold. She takes care of her younger brother
who is deaf and crippled and confined to the wheel chair. She has to help him
with everyday activities including taking him to the restroom. Even if he is
her brother, he is a boy who is past his puberty. A guy who has physical
challenges and who recently lost his parents. I couldn’t even think of his
plight. Yet, there he was, a wide grin stretching across his face forming two
dimples. The resemblance between them was so striking. I looked at their family
photograph on the wall to my right, just above the fire-place. Jade and Sam had
most of their features from their mother, who was just as beautiful as Jade. I
looked back towards them, a little embarrassed for staring at the photo for so
long. “We miss them too much. Life was a lot easier to deal with two years
ago.” I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to cry. I had never felt this way. I
wanted to tell her that my family, friends and I were always there for her. She
was mine; now her brother would also be like my own brother. I couldn’t even
open my mouth for fear that I would start weeping. I wanted to leave, go home,
lock myself up in my room and cry. I was never this emotional. But I had never
come across someone who has been orphaned with a sick sibling, all alone in a
new place, but so brave and so humble and sweet. She moved me in every cell of
my body and heart. I had never seen anyone this strong in my life. I didn’t
want to leave, but I forced myself to get up and say the words aloud which I
had beenrehearsing them mentally in my head several times, “Jade, I got to go.
But I promise you that I will come and visit you and Sam again.” I sensed the
disappointment in her face but she quickly concealed it. She said, “Thank you,
Jacob. That was so nice of you to drop in and visit my brother as well. Do drop
in whenever you can. We’d love to have you over.” And, she smiled her smile. I
was mesmerised again. I smiled back and moved towards Sam to give him a hug. I
knelt down and looked at him. He still kept smiling. I gave him a hug and he
hugged me back tight. When he finally let go of me, I didn’t want to leave.
“Jake? Come
and help me here!!” Jade looked up from her cleaning and scrubbing. I looked at
her and she motioned me to come to her. I grinned and got up from the couch. She
was cleaning the curtains and she had her back facing me. I went and hugged her
from behind and she gave me a nudge and I moved a few inches back. She turned
towards me and we stood there hugging each other for God knows how long. Time
just froze there. She buried her head in my t-shirt, like always and I held her
tight. “I love you, Jade. I always will.” She looked up at me. “Jake, do you
remember the time when you first told me you loved me?” I looked at her, both
of us revisiting the timeline.
Sam and I
played cards and chess. I admitted defeat at Chess but I beat him at cards. But
he learnt very fast. He beat me in two games later on. He would hug me to
signify his happiness and he would tap me away when he was upset. I loved each
and every minute I spent in their house. Jade was getting dinner ready. Sam was
very tired and explained that he wanted to sleep. I carried him from his
wheelchair and put him in his bed. I called out to Jade, “Sam’s asleep. What
about his dinner?” She called back from the kitchen that he would eat a little
later and that this was his nap time. I smiled and walked towards Jade. She was
making some spaghetti and Caesar salad. “Want any help?”, I offered. “Could you
please get the plates from the shelf? That’ll be of great help”. Once I had put
it down, she told me a thank you and gave me her smile. I smiled back and not
knowing what to say, told her she was welcome. We were enveloped by silence
when she was working on the salad and the dressings. I somehow, savoured the
silence. Only the sound of us breathing, the cooking of the spaghetti, the
sizzling of the oil and the clanking of the plates as I washed them. I wanted
to hold her hand and tell her that I loved her right there, that very minute.
I opened my
mouth and she turned around to face me and asked, “Jake, would you mind
checking on Sam? I don’t know if he’s asleep. I would have gone. But this
spaghetti is on the verge of getting cooked and I don’t want it to get
over-cooked. I’m sorry.” From her face I could say that she was genuinely
remorse for asking me this favour but I loved the way she treated me like her
own family and I saw it in her eyes that she had a sense of satisfaction that I
could take care of Sam.
I went
upstairs, climbing two steps at a time because I wanted to be with her as soon
as possible. I peeked into Sam’s room. I gently opened the front door knob, and
carefully opened the door. He was asleep. With a book rested on his face. I
removed thebook from his face and placed it on the table beside him after
bookmarking the page. He was reading Artemis Fowl. I smiled to myself and set
the book down. It had been my favourite book not so long back. Guys will be
guys after all, I thought to myself. I pulled his blanket on top of him and
ensured he was warm and comfortable. I took care of him like he was my little
brother. I patted him gently and slowly closed the door behind me, leaving it a
little ajar so that we would be able to hear it if he woke up or needed
anything. I felt so content and started descending downstairs skipping two
steps with each step. I inhaled deeply and my nostrils filled with the
wonderful aroma of Jade’s cooking.
‘Oh you’re
back so soon! How’s he doing? Asleep?’ I merely nodded and smiled. She had such
a soft heart. I don’t think I fell in love with the way the she looks. I think
a heart recognises its mate. It looks at how beautiful it is; at the purity of
it and falls in love with it then and there. I would have fallen in love with Jade
even if she was not that pretty. I definitely would have. Petty things like
looks don’t bother me anymore. But beauty is beauty. And she drew my attention
to her every minute without doing anything extra. I was still trying to process
how she did that. I moved next to her and leaned across the cabinet.
I started
laughing at myself when I told her what I was thinking and Jade elbowed me. ‘Oh
shut up. U never told me any of that! And what happened after that anyway? I
remember. Here’s a test to your memory. What happened after that?’ ‘Hahahahaha
look who’s testing whose memory? Well Jade, u can be rib-tickling funny at
times, sweetheart’, I said grinning. And I narrated the rest of it to her
without a pause, without a hesitation, I remembered it word- for- word; minute-
by- minute.
‘Hey
Jake.. Are u super hungry? Shall I serve dinner right away? The spaghetti is
almost done.’ ‘I am definitely hungry and I think I’ll lick my plate if u serve
me that mouth watering sphagetti now’, I grinned. ‘Before we eat, shouldn’t we
check on Sam? It’s been quite sometime right?’, I asked. ‘I think he’d still be
asleep. If he wakes up, he’ll sound the buzzer. So don’t worry’, she said with
an easy smile. i smiled back and I helped her set the table. If I told my mom
that I helped her set the table, she’ll
start fuming for I have never helped her do that. I chuckled to myself
imagining mom’s reaction to it. Once we were all set to eat, and the knives and
forks set, she served me a portion and then herself. I was about to dig in and
took a huge mouthful of spaghetti in my fork when I saw that she hadn’t touched
her fork. I looked up and saw her praying with eyes closed. Damn, I think I
found anything she did beautiful and everything touch my heart. What’s wrong
with me? Or maybe I am right after all, for the first time in my life I was
sure of my feelings. I was sure of the way I felt for her and I was sure that I
would definitely take her to be my wife one day. We settled into easy
conversation while eating (after her little prayer of course where she was
thanking God for his mercy on us and for having to be able to eat this meal). I
was still trying to process what I liked the best in her when she interrupted
me, ‘So tell me about yourself, Jacob. What do you do when you are not at the
University? And as a matter of fact I don’t even know what you are majoring in
at the University. I absolutely have no idea of your life. So tell me’ and
flashed a smile again. I looked at her eye, those little priceless emeralds. And
I had to gather myself to talk. I spoke of various things- about my classes,
about basketball, about my friends and my family. She listened attentively not
once her eyes leaving mine. She listened with such interest and rapt attention
with a smile playing on her lips. And then she asked me about my girlfriends.
Haha, good question I said. And well, I told her about Sarah, my prom date and
my only girlfriend for about a month and a half. She chuckled at me when I told
her that the only girlfriend of mine lasted only a month and a half.I told her
that I was one of the hottest guys from school and still am at the university
and at that she started laughing hard and then asked me why my only ever
relationship lasted just that short while. I simply looked at her and said ‘I
didn’t like any of those girls. I never found love in any of them.’ Her face
changed at the mention of ‘love’. I cursed myself for saying something that
turned her so upset and I saw her face was pale for a minute. I said, ‘Damn I
forgot to tell u. Sarah was not my first. I fell for this hot girl in my class.
She always had a pony and dressed in the shortest of dresses and most of the
times dressed in pink that was so adorably cute on her and guess what? She
loved me back too. Always used to wink at me and even made me a painting once.
I still have it. It was ecstasy I tell u, that feeling. Except that we were in
second grade and the girl drew a scrawny stick figure of she and me and gave it
to me.
And at that she roared with laughter. And I was so glad that she
was back to herself. I apologised to her. She smiled and I was wondering what
she was hiding behind her normal usual self. I didn’t probe further. I was just
talking random things and was on a blabberingspree. Yeah I was in love. When
you are in love these crazy things happen. You won’t like her to be upset.
You’ll behave like a clown just to see her smile. You will make a fool out of
yourself and feign innocence when she knows what you are upto. And she was back
to normal. Of course, I never told her my feelings that day.
The next day was as killing as it could be. I couldn’t wait
for the evenings when I would see her. After that dinner, we had made great
friends in each other. We had decided we would meet each day at her place and
spend time with Sam. Take him for a walk or something like that.
Neither knew that the
other was also in love with Jake/ Jade. Yes, Jade also started developing
feelings towards Jake. He was God-sent who saved her from that dreaded
accident.
She never knew she
could fall in love again, but then and there, with Jake, she did and sincerely
hoped and prayed that Jake won’t do what Tom did to her. A girl’s heart is very
fragile. A guy talking to her all sweet and charming will send her heart doing
multiple somersaults with each text message and call.Tom.. Her heart always did
somersaults when he was around.
As expected, I landed at her place the next evening and I had
bought Sam a new Chess Board and Jade, some flowers. It felt like the right
thing to do. I smiled to myself and knocked at the door. Three loud rasps and
she opened before I could knock again. With dough-covered hands she opened the
door with great difficulty. When she opened it, I couldn’t help laughing and
soon enough she joined too. I couldn’t help seeing how strikingly beautiful she
was. There was the second time I fell in love with her and my heart was
hammering in its cage. Love is like Morphine, it numbs out everything else…
“Come in, Jake. Am sorry. U take a good look at my hands and
then decide whether to yell at me or not for getting to the door so late” and
she grinned. I couldn’t help chuckling out loud while stepping into the house.
She was so happy to see me, and of course delighted more than ever to see the
flowers. Her reactions are always priceless. I could smell the wonderful aroma
of cookies wafting from the kitchen to the living room and filling the whole
house under some kind of magical spell.Every single minute I was not with her,
I would keep rehearsing the first kiss I would share with the air, but when she
was with me, resisting it was the most killing thing ever. I had the urge and
the courage to do it today. ‘Jade….’, I called out. She responded without
looking up from her eyes set on the oven, ‘Hmmmm?’. I was standing, arms
crossed, against the wall across the dining and staring at her. She had her own
flaws. Her childish freckles could still be seen, though minutely, still
visible. She had developed acne and they were starting to show. All this while
I had always thought a girl had to look beautiful, hot and stick slim, but
after seeing Jade, I realised that imperfection itself was beauty. It may sound
cheesy, but it was truth. She was a natural all the time and she needed no L’Oreal
or Revlon to make her look pretty. She was done with the oven and after
re-setting the temperature, she was satisfied and she gave me a broad smile. I
grinned back and I don’t know how I did it but I did. I held her hand, her
every touch electrifying. Her hands, soft and delicate had become rough with
all thehousework she has been doing over and over. I loved her hand and I drew
invisible circles on them as I was lost in thought about her. I pulled her
close to me and hugged her. Oh My God. All my guy hormones seem to have kicked
from nowhere. Am I under control? Cuz I don’t wanna lose her to my urgent
desire and it is way too early to tell her what I feel; but if she didn’t like
what I was doing, why was she hugging me back? If she is, then it means she is
interested right? Why don’t they have a manual for all this? Why do we guys
have to do so much thinking?
“Oh No. This is exactly
how Tom and I started. Where is all this going to lead to? Please God. I
believe in you. You may have taken my parents away from me but I have never
lost my faith in you. Please don’t make me suffer all over again. Please I beg
you. “With that, she pulled her hand back. Jake was obviously visibly upset.
She pulled back! Can u imagine? She pulled back from me and
moved away like I was some disgusting creature. I was angry and frustrated. She
was away from me but her scent still lingered. Lavender perfume with Blueberry
shampoo.I crossed my arms and was flushing red with anger. She sensed that I
was really upset and angry. She ought to have. What strange thing did I do that
no other guy has ever tried doing? I was aghast with fury and I just stormed
out of the house.
“Jake! Jake! Please stop and listen to me please!!!”. I heard
her say and when she woke up from her trance and realised what happened, too
shocked to react, she ran out behind me and yelled for me. I was relentless,
with no sign of sympathy. By the time she reached the porch, I had roared my
engine to life and started my way off. I was a guy and guy ego had crawled into
me. I was furious! How could she refuse me? I didn’t ask her to sleep with me!
It was just a kiss! And it was like the entire defining point when it had to
crumble like a pack of cards. Anger arising out of disappointment and
frustration was creating havoc in me. The only way I could regain my senses was
practice. I had to hit the court as soon as possible and throw in basket after
basket. Only then I would subside. I was sure of that. I needed to be alone. I
checked my watch. It was just over twelve. The guys would have finished their
practice and on their way home. Right time to hit the court.
“So did she like the flowers?”, my mom asked me when I
returned home after a three hour practice. Rather, I should call it a waste of
time. The first hour of the game I was good. Hit several baskets and the ball
dribbled damn well. Just as I was approaching 1 o’ clock, her thoughts flooded
my heart again. “Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.” “Maybe she had a genuine
reason” “Maybe.. Just maybe she didn’t feel the same way as I felt about her.”
Whoever on earth founded the word “Maybe”? Aaargh! This was driving me nuts and
I had no idea what to do. I tried to focus on my practice but it was just so
hard. I floundered with the ball for the next two hours, aimlessly running
about the court. Half the time I was not even running behind the ball, I was
running parallel to it. I felt disgusted at myself for the way I had reacted
and the sense of repentance was slowly finding its way back into my system. By
then I was thoroughly sure that she must have had a damn good reason for
avoiding me like that. It’s strange what anger does to humans. You tend to miss
out the obvious when you are angry and frustrated, when you focus only on
satisfying your ego. Once my anger had subsided, and Jade’s thoughts flooded my
brain and heart again, like a dying cell phone battery suddenly plugged into
charge, I remembered I had noticed a lot of things about her. The way she
looked at me, there was something in them.. Was that love or a sense of longing
or fear? I could see a mixture of all of them and other expressions I couldn’t
even figure out. Heck! I was not a face-reader. Maybe I should talk to her. Or
maybe I shouldn’t. My brain told me to forget the idea but my heart was urging
me every second to just go for it and talk it out with her. If she is angry,
reason out with her first. If she was not really supremely pissed at me, then
maybe I could explain my love to her.I would shake her hands and then feel the
warmth of it and then it may just lead somewhere. Jade... “Yeah son. One, you
haven’t even bothered answering my question and next you haven’t let go of my
hand for the past five minutes. Jake, are you alright?” No points for guessing
whose voice that is. My mom. Shit. She had asked me some question. Worst part,
I had been holding her hand absently while imagining what I would do with Jade’s
hand. Mega shit. “I’m. I’m sorry ma. What did you ask?” “Is everything alright
Jake? You just seem to be paling a little. Is everything okay?” Mother’s
instincts. “Yeah mom. I’m fine. We just had a..” “A.. umm.. really good time”.
“Are u sure, Jake? Do you want anything to munch on now? I’ve made your
favourite cookies.” I absently nodded and I noticed mom still standing in the
hallway waiting for a reply and not just a nod of my head. Mothers!! “I had an
awesome lunch at Jades’, mom. I love your cookies and let me control myself for
a wee bit. I’ll pounce on ‘em in an hour or so” and I grinned, just to show
that I AM in a good state of mind. My mom still wasn’t fully convinced and I
could sense she was still worried, nevertheless she didn’t probe further. I
love you, mom. No one could be more understanding than you. She was the first
who recognised that I was interested in basket-ball when I was throwing well
aimed rings at a “typical game” in the fair in our town. My thoughts drifted
back to Jade. Was she alright? What the hell was I thinking? Among the many
things I disliked about myself, the primary one was anger.
“Sam, don’t touch that, honey. It’s still hot.” Jade said, as
she placed the cup of her homemade hot chocolate beside Sam on his table. As
she watched Sam, her thoughts drifted back to Jake. “What was I thinking? It
was just a kiss and the moment was so perfect that I was giving in too, but was
that good for me? I didn’t know what to do. I have loved Jake ever since he
saved me. I know that sounds absurd, but that is the truth. Why did I have to
think about Tom at that precise moment which was gonna decide my life? Why did
I have to do that? I guess some questions are never answered.”
Tom.. The mere thought
of his name erupted a thousand feelings repressed inside her. She missed him
too much but it was all her doing. He still wanted them to be the same best
buddies but she was not ready to accept him that way ever again. She wouldn’t
even wanna see him fearing she would fall in love with him again. He was there
in everything she did. They enjoyed the same music. Liked the same kind of
cuisine and hated the same cuisine. Loved the same colour, movies, disliked
people who lie and who are fake. Then why didn’t things turn out the way she
had wanted? Simple. He didn’t love her back. He thought of her nothing but a
best friend but she had the guts and the courage in her to take it a step
forward which was obviously not appreciated. It took nothing of her to fall in love with him but it took all of her
to at least TRY forgetting him.
The shrill sound of her
telephone brought her back to reality and to the present. She rushed to the
phone, thinking it was perhaps Jake who was calling and smiling to herself ran
all that her legs could carry. “Hello.” She said panting after her sprint from
one room to another looking around for where she threw the damn cordless.
“Hey Jadey bear!”. She couldn’t help smile and was so
relieved to listen to this voice, especially in a time like this. It reminded
that she was still loved by some. “Mike!!! How are you? So you finally
remembered this little girl eh?” She could sense Michael smiling to himself, so
happy to listen to her voice, his best friend since their SAT Classes. “Now now
now. Who forgot whom, bear? You flew back to Chicago and forgot all about this
guy’s existence. Now what should I say about that?” “Am sorry Mike.. It’s just
that.. Never mind. How are you doing? How are mum and dad? How’s little Reese?”
“Aaaah! All’s fine at here, bear. We are all missing you pretty bad. Mom’s been
asking about you every now and then, more often than ever. Little sis Reese is
fourteen, can you believe it? Wants her own stuff and throwing adolescent attitude
all the way. Each day is worse than the previous. So you tell me, how is Sam?
Any improvements?” “Sam is getting better, Mikey. He has started regaining some
control over his hands but his legs are still bad. The doctor said he might get
to walk in a few years’ time. You know the hardest part Mike? It’s watching him
confined like this without mom and dad around. Three years back we were so
different. Sam and his Chess missions with dad. Mom’s cooking and our family
brunches together. Life was so different then, right? Anyway, am sorry to shush
your mood off like that. Didn’t mean to be a wet blanket and bore you with my
stuff, but I don’t have anyone else to even talk to.” “Jade sweetie, you always
have this loser me with you. I know what you feel and all you need are a
gazillion dinosaur hugs and some heavenly choco-chip cookies. You would love
that, don’t you?” “Whuppie! Who wouldn’t? But how is all that gonna reach me?”
“Mind stepping out on to your porch, sweets?” She grabbed the phone tight,
excitement and curiosity killing her and stepped out on to the porch. She
couldn’t see anything at first. Then she saw him. A figure in rugged jeans and
a t-shirt with a coat to top it off. She couldn’t control herself as she ran
towards him and landed inches before him. “Care to hug me, bear?” And all she
could do was hug her best guy friend tight and then the tears like traitors
started wetting his shoulder. He still grasped her tight and let her shake and
cry. When she composed herself, or at least tried to, she released him but he kept
holding her hand.“What? I’m not gonna invite you. Just barge in.” “I was hoping
you would say that” “I missed you, Mike. Far too much”. “Hmmm” “What? You never
missed me?” “If I never missed you, what the hell do u think I would be doing
in California late in the evening without even checking into a hotel?” He grinned
and beckoned to me “C’me ‘ere. She promptly walked towards him and he hugged
her tight. She couldn’t have felt more protected...
“Shouldn’t I just call her, dammit?” “If I were you, I would
have done it by now”, John said. I was so stuck up with this thing and I was
getting obsessed with her. Who the hell asked me to try kissing her, storm out
of the house and now repent what I have done? And my best bud wasn’t helping
either. I finally had the courage to pick up the phone and call her. I was kind
of clueless as to what to do. I needed some time and space to think, re-think
and react. I missed her so badly but did I have to admit that? Does she have
another guy in her life? Doesn’t she like me? Does she miss me too and think
about me or is she thinking about the other guy? Maybe the other guys’ kiss had
more stories to offer? My head was exploding with questions and yeah you are
hell right that I don’t know who on Earth the “other guy” is.
“C’mon Mike. It tickles. Hahaha. Please.” Mike was playing
absently with a feather and was rubbing it on Jade’s feet and she was wriggling
to glory. “Aaaaah how much I missed your massages. Thank God you are back. I
wonder what I would do without you.” “I think you would be better off without
me, bear”. She got off the couch and sat beside him on the floor and asked him,
“You know what?” “Hmmmm?” “Why do we always want to keep our loved ones close
to ourselves?” “’Cuz we want to keep ourselves happy? And them as well? I
dunno.” “Uh-huh. No. It’s cuz they are way tooo precious to be shared with
anyone else.” “Oh. Wow. Do I see a Jade Coelho soon?”, he said sticking his
tongue out. She grabbed a pillow and threw it on him and that was their regular
banter and cherished moments. “Hey Mike.. Can I ask you something?” “Sure,
love. Anything you want to.” “How is.. umm… you know.. Umm.. Tom?” “Bear, do u really
want me to answer that question truthfully?” She nodded and urged him on. “He
is good. In fact he is damn good. You remember Eliza from practice? That
female. That disgusting female. Don’t make me use the B-word. He’s going out
with her. And he says as if it’s the best thing that’s happened to him. Tom’s
changed so much, Jade. He is so selfish and obstinate these days. Habits from
Eliza would have got rubbed off on him. Can’t stand him these days, honey.
Sorry to say but am too mad at him for what he did to you.” “But I still miss
him, Mike.” And her expression changed and she became sadder than ever at the
thought of mentioning his name.
Mike:
I understood that so far she had only thought of him, but now
that she was meeting someone from her home-place, someone who knew about her
and Tom and the fact that all her repressed feelings were going to come out in
one big gush. Make that several big gushes. “I know you do, Jade.. But tell me.
Do you still think he deserves someone as good as you? I don’t mean to flatter.
I never do, but you are one heck of an awesome girl and did I tell you that you
look like an angel these days?” “You, young man are faaar too biased. And you
being my sorry best buddy are always a little too partial towards me.” And both
of them grinned. “No bear. Have you ever appraised yourself in the mirror
recently? I would bet that you could give Cinderella some tough competition,
you know?” “Oh yeah?” And she elbowed him on his hip. “Owwww! I see that you
haven’t lost all your gym muscles?”, he said, sticking his tongue out. She
stuck her tongue out too as she flexed her muscles and they both grinned.“Hey.
Where’s Sam?” “He’s asleep. Why don’t you go check on him?” “That yes, I shall
do.” He climbed two steps at a time and cranked the door open slowly. Sam was
asleep peacefully on his bed, the Artemis Fowl still bent over his face. He
gently removed the book from his face and placed it on the table beside and
stroked his hair. He was hardly a few years younger to him, yet he seemed more
like a baby, blissfully asleep. He so wished he and Jade would work out. “I
wish.” “Maybe I should go down and spend my quality time with Jade. And be
there for her. And I don’t know. I have always had something for her, but I
brushed it aside all this while. Was it a best friend feeling or the start of a
budding romance? I should have thought it then. Screw you, Mike.” He cursed
himself. “How the hell would I have known if I was in love with her friend? She
was always pretty. A little plump, but damn pretty. Am I falling in love with
her now? Oh no. Don’t tell me. If she says no, I don’t think I have it in me to
accept it. Am done, finished and screwed already. She has lost oodles of weight
now and looks as hot as ever. Life isn’t fair, is it? Maybe it is if she is
still single and if her guy best friend could become her best guy friend. I
wish.” “Knock, knock”. She shook me from my trance. In that dimmed light
seeping in from the corridor, she looked as ravishing as ever. It took all of
me to control the disappointment of not being able to kiss her.
“Hey Jade. I didn’t see you coming. When did you come?” “I
just came up looking for you ‘cuz u disappeared and I wanted to ask you to stay
for dinner. Will you?” “I don’t have a choice, do I?”, and I winked.
Jake:
Aw forget it man. Let me just let everything cool down for a
bit. I do miss her but do I have it in me to go apologise to her? Again, it was
a battle of two sides of myself. “If you truly love her as you think you do, am
sure it wouldn’t matter.” “Oh forget it. She was the one who angered me. Let
her reconcile and come back.” “This is what people refer to as chauvinism. Grow
up, Jake.” “Hey! Hey! Cool it and knock it off, will u guys? And give me some
peace of mind please!!!” The best way was to talk to John about it. He was the
only one capable of giving me a rational explanation and tell me what to do.
“Hello Mrs. Bridge, is John around?” “Oh my God! Look who’s
here! C’mon on in, Jake. He is upstairs in his room. How you doing, Jake? How
are mum and dad?” “They are doing good, Mrs. Bridge. How do you do? And Mr.
Bridge is back in town?” “Yup yeah Jake. He is doing fine. The new premises has
shifted to beyond the town. So he grumbles a lot about the travel. How’s your
mom’s pearl string coming up?” I laughed and said, “I think she is not getting
anywhere wid ‘em” and I grinned. “Hey by the way, she made her famous choco
chip cookies and she gave you guys a box and said these are specially only for
you.” And I handed it over. I hadn’t even realised I had been holding on to it
for so long. I was so preoccupied.
I took two steps at a time and went up to his room when I saw
John playing on his new PS-2. Virtual NBA. I opened the door without knocking.
“Switch to two-player”, and I smiled at him. “Mind knocking?”, his voice
irritated and gruff. I was taken aback. Two things were so weird and it came
striking at the same time. One, John never shut himself in his room like this
with VIRTUAL NBA, rather he would be out playing the real one with real humans
and an existing basketball court and number two, the more prominent was his
tone and I don’t know.. Something about him made me feel scared of him for a tiny
micro-second.“Sup dude? What brings you here?” I gave him a blank look and he
got up and hugged me. His breath stunk heavily of booze.
.............................
********************* ……………………….
“But
u know u gotta move on right, Jade?” The words rung sharp, clear and
crackled in my ear.
Me:
Bt am unable to accept you tat way cuz thr r other things attached.
Why dun u
ever get tat?
He: The
faster u put in efforts to move on, the better friends we can become :-)
Me:
See. 'move on' is a very harsh phrase
Think
twice before u say tat
He: I would
obviously want to make things as easy and normal as possible
Me:
Its gonna b two years. And if a girl stil luvs the guy, 'move on' is definitely
nt the phrase.
He: am
ready to do whatever u ask me to do, to help u out
me: U
ve a zillion other frnds
I dun
suppose am important to u, or anybody fr tat matter
He: Am
ready to help u , sort this out... anything that I can
Me: Why is
my frndship so important to u?
Why
cudn u just ve forgotten my existence and found better frnds?
He: Ok, now
how do I help u get this back on track?
Me: U never
answered my qn.
He: Cuz we
dun have answers to all questions.....
Me: It’s the
same here.
He: Bloody,
never set a question paper...poor students
Me: Y do u
always avoid frank conversations?
He : I have
no clue what to respond!!! I can only offer to help u out!!! That's the best I
can do
Me: U r a guy. Fr a girl, and tat too fr one who
has had mostly guy frnds ever since childhood, falling in luv is a big thng.
And nt being reciprocated and trying to frget that oly guy whom she luvd is
even bigger. I dun even know why am even telling u all this.
Cuz u r
least interested in even hearing me out
Let alone
help
He: Hello?
Am here listening to u, offering help in anyway possible!!!
Me: Help me
thro wat?
Be
clear and precise
He: Be
clear?
I am being
clear.... we cannot happen, Jade .... understand
Jade Rosalyn Peter >> Sign out.
Are you sure you want to sign out of
Gmail? >> Yes.
“Seriously did he think I was that
cheap? Like I was begging him to take me or something. What a jerk.! Did I fall
for him? HIM of all people!? Sheesh. TOM!!”
People not in relationships complain
that they are lonely, people in relationships, are constantly with someone, yet
lonely. Strange life. Strange people. I woke up from my afternoon siesta,
woozy, a hundred things running through my brain. New friends who get closer,
old friends who don’t talk anymore, who have “prioritised” others over me.
Seriously, don’t people ever respect nice people anymore? They just hang out
with the ficks and the witches and actually forget the nice people. Well,
random thoughts, you know. Loneliness and the frictional rusting of the brain
does a lot to you. Woozes you up and drives you nuts. Like me, now. Thinking
about worthless things and people and ending up feeling more miserable than
ever. And it doesn’t stop there. This fucked up thing is like jet lag. It stays
with you for days, pulling you down. When you finally get accustomed to a new
life begun afresh, you shift base and end up with it again. Well, what was
between Tom and me was something unexplainably beautiful. When I felt it, it
was real. He was real. I was more real than ever. Somehow, now everything seems
surreal. His new friends. Their new life. I just don’t fit there. My friends I
don’t talk to much, anyway. Matt and I have become closer friends and sometimes
I can’t take it if even he doesn’t talk. There’s a kind of security that he
offers. Which I terribly need. For there is something else, I am keeping locked
away for now..
Jake:
Time: 3 AM
“John! John! Are u okay?”
“Wazzzzzzzzzuppppp, bro? Fought with that girl again? Buhbuhbuh… zzzzz..”
“John, what are you saying? Please sit up, man. Shall I get you some water?”
“Hahahahaha. Whatever, just get a life, man. And first, get out of my sight. I
can’t stand the sight of you. You nauseate me.” “What the hell are you talking,
John? I am your best pal! Why are you talking this way? What the fuck did I
do?” “Dude, you seriously didn’t know what you did?” “No…” Jake was abruptly
cut mid sentence when Mrs. Bridge entered the room on hearing the commotion.
Relieved on seeing John sitting upright, she asked Jake what was wrong. John
looks at his mom, into those deep brown eyes, set in, surrounded by dark ovals
beneath her lower eyelids and crow’s feet at the corners and tells her “Ma, get
this guy out of my house before I turn any rude” “But.. What happened, John?”
“I’ll tell you later. Just get this bloke out of my sight now. Can’t stand the
sight of him”
A perplexed Mrs. Bridge looked at a
bewildered Jake and pleaded with helpless eyes and sent a silent prayer to the Lord
to knock some senses into her son. “Only you, Lord. Please don’t hurt my son.”
*Sigh* “Bye, Jake. Take care. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of all”
(To be continued.....)
