Point of Inflection

I think I’ve felt this earlier

This similar feeling

A sense of emptiness in the air

A nauseating silence in the being

A pang in my heart

Which strums more than my six string

A point of inflection

Where I cant go forward nor behind anymore

Where I sit, breathless

Looking at everybody laughing, chattering

The sounds annoy me

I think i’m frivolous but I realize

That I’m different

Unique.

Something which makes me, me

I think a lot

I contemplate a lot

I still can’t breathe

The feeling’s inescapable

Every breath of mine writhes of pain

Unable to talk to anyone

A point of inflection

People call out to me

I respond

That’s all.

Nothing further

They prod me to talk and fail

They give up and move ahead

I think that’s what nauseates me

Friends have all moved on without me

Never waiting for me

Never caring for what I feel

There are friend circles

Among friend circles

But I don’t fit anywhere

I spend my pent up anger as hydrides

Rolling down my cheeks

Which I swallow hard

So hard that it aches

A burning.

I run to the washroom

Pretend to have a cold

Lock myself up

Turn the tap on

And cry

A point of inflection

From friends whom I thought I can’t live without,

I have learnt

That I should never have expectations

Cuz they can never meet it

I should never love them as much

Cuz I’m always replaceable.

I should never get attached to them

Cuz they never will

I should never express my genuine love and affection to them

Cuz it doesn’t matter to anyone

Everyone on this planet is a loner

But, what brings people together is the fact that there is another loner destined to be with him or her

I try to breathe and relax

But fail miserably

I am panting

But sometimes my breathing becomes labored

I don’t know what to say

I retract into my world

When I want to write, I don’t find the resources

When I find the resources, I don’t feel like writing

I smile

But I know what’s happening to me

Fully conscious

Of everything

How everyone is happy without my company

I cringe at the thought

But truth is always bitter

And I have learnt it the hard way

I don’t know how my life progresses

Each day is the same as the other

A point of inflection

Others eyes full of life

Mine showing the same darkness

Filled with agony

That I just want to go somewhere and shut myself

And expect to be asked if I’m okay

But I won’t be asked

And I should live with the truth

For I have reached,

A point of inflection